On a December day in Gaza, after Israel Defense Forces troops mistakenly identified three escaped Israeli hostages as a threat; Yotam Haim and two others were shot and killed. The pain of the Israeli families is enormous, and the pain and guilt of those who made the mistake are certainly beyond our ability to grasp.
But Iris Haim, mother of Yotam, recorded a message to those soldiers.
“I am Yotam’s mother. I wanted to tell you that I love you very much, and I hug you here from afar. I know that everything that happened is absolutely not your fault, and nobody’s fault except that of Hamas …. I want you to look after yourselves … you are doing the best thing in the world that could help us … And don’t hesitate for a second if you see a terrorist. Don’t think that you killed a hostage deliberately.”
The bereaved mother continued: “At the first opportunity, you are invited to come to us… we want to see you with our own eyes and hug you and tell you that what you did — however hard it is to say this, and sad — it was apparently the right thing in that moment. And nobody’s going to judge you or be angry. Not me, and not my (family). And not Yotam, may his memory be blessed …. We love you very much. And that is all.”
The soldiers sent her back a voice note: “We received your message, and since then we have been able to function again. Before that, we had shut down.”
Iris Haim responded: “Amazing, that is what I wanted.” The next day, the opportunity came and the soldier from the battalion who had made the mistake visited Iris and her family.
We live in a day and age when the most minor of triggers strain relationships past the point of no return. Yet despite Iris Haim’s unimaginable pain, the compassion and forgiveness she expressed to the devastated IDF soldiers are the true heart of the Jewish people, exhibiting a stunning display of the emotional strength of those imbued with Torah values.
Israel now works together to defeat an enemy that committed the worst mass slaughter of Jews since the Holocaust and horrific war crimes that shocked humanity. The leaders of Hamas have said that “October 7 was just a dress rehearsal.” Yet, while Israel tries to ensure the safety of its troops, the IDF does not bomb Gaza indiscriminately, as virtually any other army would do. Not only does Israel allow aid to enter areas controlled by its enemy, but the IDF telegraphs its strategy to ensure that civilians flee combat zones. And Israel continues to provide water, medicine, food, and fuel to the Palestinians.
Colonel Richard Kemp, commander of British Forces in Afghanistan, fought in combat zones around the world including Northern Ireland, Bosnia, Macedonia, and Iraq. Kemp was also present throughout the conflict in Gaza in 2014. In an article he authored and titled, “Israel: The World’s Most Moral Army,” Colonel Kemp wrote, “Based on my experience and on my observations: “The IDF does more to safeguard the rights of civilians in a combat zone than any other army in the history of warfare.”
Our Sages debate what is the greatest quality a person can acquire. Their conclusion? A lev tov, a “good heart.” The Torah begins and ends with the two Hebrew letters that spell lev, heart. If you’ve got a good heart, you’ve got it all: Integrity, compassion, and forgiveness. Morality on the battlefield. These, and more, are the true heart of the Jewish people.
Originally published in the St. Louis Jewish Light
